Friday the 13th. Hope we all survived. I've done well today, only a few moments of akward conversation (how do you relate to a 21 year old Catholic Republican who's also a bit naive?) - thankfully Anita took care of crashing through doors in a profound manner!
My day planner is more of a journal - I look at it and write down what's happened, as opposed to using it to plan my future. Between that small fact and the one that I'm using has reused the pictures from the 2007 planner ... but that's a different riff. Today, the 13th of June, marks the passing of my grandfather, from my Mom's side of the tree of Wallace. Walter Parry. I didn't call ma today - wanted to, almost did at 9, but didn't. What do you say? Still miss him? hell, I miss him - I'm sure ma felt melancholy at best.
But here's the thing. He had a great life. I've read his journal entries. I recall the stories he shared with me when I paid attention (never enough ...) - our family is tied up in one word remarks - "later, when I get back" - that take us to a time and place and event. Solid memories, definitive knowledge (he adored his grand children), impressions of the person.
//The Saddest Song 6 of 10 4:55 The Postal Service Give Up//
The connections, or interconnections, make me smile a bit. I think of Walt, and I recall my first motorcycle. and my stereo from high school. A yellow Chevy Monza which was the first car I drove on my own (though not legally). Riding in the back of the hatchback with the lawn mower sticking out. Bunker street. Him recovering from surgery over at 1 trinity. Birthday cake. His wigwam up on Hayes rd. Him telling me of all his jobs, we were sitting on the steps of 1 trinity. Milkman. I know he worked on the railroad - my model trains somehow connected to that. His circus wagons. His jaunty cap.
He was of the generation that saw amazing things - both amazingly good and amazingly bad. He attributed the fall of the berlin wall and the downfall of the Soviet Union to yours truly - we all laughed. I still bemusingly share that belief with others today.
//Just What I Needed 4 of 4 5:38 Toshi Reagon Music For Your Life //
The above mentioned youngin' was an example of someone who's life is saved to file - not as completely as 'baby wrinkles' whom Catie showed pics of on Facebook - that youngster will definitely never be able to escape from the file of her life. But Kristen - she spoke of deleting a picture of her doing a keg stand from her Facebook page ... "it's deleted" she said with a confidence that made me laugh. Sure it's gone.
Gone, however, is a bit more of Walt. Every year my recollections fade ever so much - like John Parker, walt was a character, and I'll never forget. But the details merge, become fuzzy. Thankfully we have his journals - where I can see he made notes of my mom having twins, some what unexpectedly.
Do we need to hold onto the concrete examples, or do the memories work just fine? Should I memorialize my grandfather, or just remember him? The power of the intertubes compels me... but really, for what end?
//Have To Explode 3:19 The Mountain Goats A Heartbreaking Disc of Staggering Genius//
So, Walt, thank you. For your love. Your confidence. Your never ending patience. Your wonderful daughter. May you have found your rewards. Also, where you parked the car in downtown...
dona nobis pacem
"Keep Calm and Carry On"
// Both Hands (with NY Symphony) 4:52 Ani DiFranco//