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that godawful day again ...
ttocsland
remember when you felt helpless? perhaps the next day or two you sought out ways to help - giving blood, sending money, crying...

all I had to offer was my heart, but now I know my heart can't save the world.

time has changed the intensity for which I feel these emotions of hope and loss, but the emotions are still here, not nearly far enough away, and comfortingly soooo close to the surface.

in the Daily Tar Heel, September 11th lost out to #23, North Carolina's Michael Jordan. somewhat understandable, and the nicely reported loss of community impact surrounding the anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center & Pentagon included the fact that we, as a nation, look forward, and getting people to turn back, especially if it is as painful as that day is, is hard to do.

solem, I guess, is how I feel today. Haven't made my patriot day brownies, but the day is young. Picked up the America: A Tribute to Heroes album last night, and Eddie & Neil's version of "long road" does equal damage as the new Dicken's tune "the road (pt. 2)" - I'm a sucker for a good song that rips my heart out ... perhaps I should loosen my grip, eh?

I pullup sars' site, cause she helped me let go a little.
I listen to Eddie & Neil so I can let go a little.
I look at the front page to see if I can let go a little ... not that I have much to hold on to. Odd.

ah sars, can you find an angel? Hmmm....

Every day is a day someone somewhere has a reason to feel pain - ask me about October 21st. Today, though, there are 3,000+ holes that crack the window pane of life, with cracks radiating out to those who have lost a mother, father, sister, brother, lover ... friend.

I have no connection to anyone impacted by the events, or the tragedy since. No one I know has been killed by this passage of time - yet, some how, I'm cracked. fundamentally changed - awoken? And it's this weird balance of 'no reason to feel sad' and 'oh my god ... everything I thought is now different' - swirls around me.

I looked about for pics to add to this post - nothing like an extra 1,000 words. But not much new available. huh.

it's like I end this as if walking off a cliff, but how much more can be said? I wonder what the world would be like if we had taken the high road ...

ciao,

~ S ~ || dona nobis pacem ||

"Keep Calm and Carry On" or "Keep Calm ... and Cupcakes!"