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ttocsland
(From sometime last week...)
Sometimes I just need to be reminded that I can do some things pretty well. As I stood under my home made awnings, both front and back, as the rain falls down to anoint us with clean, anoint us with wet...

I have doubts about the things I do. I have serious doubts as to my worth.

It's getting worse, and I fear a call from Diana with a rejection will cause me to break. I hate feeling fragile. I hate the doom and gloom that slips in behind my eyes, coloring all that I see as vile and pathetic.

But my stoops are kinda dry. My doggies have a place to go and view the weather and then choose – “hell no I'm not gonna go out in this!”
+++
(We went out and had some fun on Friday the 24th of Feb, over at the Center for Inquiry West - very very cool)

•        I'm Dave Foley, mother fucker!!
•        That mustache is all he has left of his mother...
•        You broke their couch!!!
•        "Have you tried exercising?"
•        "Don't apologize to a wall!!"
•        "Guitar solo... it's supposed to be about 4 minutes long... we'll just skip to the next section"
•        "You know what I hate?" "Yeah... Jews" "Hmmm... I've never thought about that..." "Bartender..."
•        "Happy birthday to yomphmphmph..."
•        The gut spigot

Kids in the hall - funny. Damn funny!!!
Thanks Boo, and Chris and Matt and Alex and Tim – I had a great time, and a great burger afterwards!!!

+++
060228
It's Tuesday. I'm back from class. Waiting. Then napping.
SyndBleu calls - ok, they sound happy - good news from London? Yay?
Oh, can I do a different gig? Huh... designer? Wha???
Whatever... they'll call back. Sure they will.

Boo's home to hang with Aunt Irma, so I'm off to get mail (no damn check yet) and then stopped to pick up some sundries at the Sav-On, and Mick calls me. Coolio, sure - the gig you spoke of in... October! Give me a shot at it – London’s incomunicondo.

So I get back to the home, thinking about doing my resume/portfolio for Mick’s opportunity when Sam/Diana ring me – “Ok, tomorrow at noon, ok???”
WTF... sure. Whatever.

So, when it rains, it pours. Cool.

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060301
Ivory Capital until... whenever. Hit library on way home so I can read/photocopy for Oifer (PoliSci1), though if they choose to have me back, then... what? Pissing away school for the money? Stupid or what...

Wednesday - ok. Gots to pull a SBDC report out of my ass by... say Friday.
Thursday - school, or work.
Friday - work
Saturday - ??
Sunday - Ac Awards
Monday - work??
Tuesday - school? Work?

+++
Saturday - 1:47pm - 4Mar06
I had a fabulous ride into Hollywierd through Bev Hills and WeHo last night (Friday). I realized heading to Ivory Capital Friday morning, after getting the drugs for Canela, that SanMo Blvd is wide enough to handle lane splitting. Weeee!!!

Ivory showed up out of nowhere - a rude awakening to an afternoon nap.
Ring Ring. "Are you available tomorrow? Our guy - a designer doing power point, wasn't creative enough for them."
Me: "uh.... ok. uh... after noon. uh... I really am better at production than design..."
"We'll call you back".
So off I go, to check the mail, to pick up some goodies for the Boo. Mick rings me while I was Sav-On'ing.
“Uh, that thing we talked about - in October - you still interested?”
“Uh, why, sure... why not. London's still not back to me, so... sure.”

That was on Tuesday, after a rainy ride to school in the morning, and a nice ride home at 11am or so.

Oh, I get home and around 6:30 or so Sam and Diana ring me from SyndBleu and they're like "tomroow, noon, ok?" and I'm like "sure - but I'm not a designer!" and I also mention, isn't noon when people lunch? So I monkey suit up in the morn, drop the girl at work, head over to possibly meet up with the Mick to talk at his office, and then to Ivory. A call about 9:15 - can you make it at one instead? They’ll be back from lunch then. Ha Ha ha... why am I so smart??

Ivory day one was good. Day two, post school morning was good. Day three was Friday, a rain-threatening morning ride, but not much except in the last three blocks!!! ha ha ha. Good lane splitting on the way there, and then the way home was decent filtering. Didn't have the bog/engine die/flip to reserve and restart before the green light excitement, but still good nonetheless.

Got to the door and I didn't have a house key. Freaked out cause it's on my syzygy theater / Waving Goodbye key fob, which I care about, and also, I don't tend to lose things ('cept my mind). Where did it go? The morning as I got on the bike? At Ivory where I parked? Did it bounce out of my pocket along the way? Huh....

Not enough food made me gruff with Boo (though I needed her love and attention), and I turned both bags inside out looking for the key. took my flashlight outside and looked... maybe when I moved the trash can? damn, nothing.

And then I check my coats for no good reason - Yay - it's in my Oscar leather one - which means... I didn't deadbolt the door in the morning. Ugh... time to eat!!!

So, I spent part of Friday at Ivory typing up my notes from my "how to write a business plan" seminar. Turned out to be over 2,000 words long!!! All that in prep to write a 550 word story for the Corsair. Ugh!!! So between key agony and bliss, a thought of Blue's desire to Lick or Die, her personal motto being "Live to Lick", which I pondered if that were available as a web site - licktolive.com, which boo mentioned might not be what I'm looking for.

Unlike madebyhandwithhate.com, which she hopes to launch soon!!!

So now it's 2:30pm, I'm 2 hours from picking up Remy and Master P, heading out to a wedding/reception, and I got my story out to Lauren, and we'll see if that makes our Oscar Edition of the paper. After which we put out our Corsair Gang Task Force edition. Weeeee.....

Peace, and I'm out of here!

+++
06Mar06 + 6:25pm = Monday night
Wow - it's now Monday - I'll post one of these days... but I had a great filtering on the way in from Ivory today - got out of the office about quarter to 3 or so. wet shiny pavement. Not too good. Add WeHo's groovy crosswalks, essentially faux brickwork - and I was all sorts of focused...

Rain in the southland is kinda cruel humor - certainly adds drama to the look and feel of the day (both pups seem totally bummed out... that or they're just nappy) - the spray from the work trucks, or the buses. Don't try to stop on the wet painted road markings. Try not to take out anyone's mirrors. Look ahead. Don't go too fast - either between lanes or when it opens up - stopping is tougher in the rain.

Oh, and wear some rainproof clothes.

Let’s see what I can do to post this thing.

:+s+:

dona nobis pacem