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we came home...
ttocsland
and canela was on the kitchen floor, not doing well at all.

Fuck.

Canela would come and check on us in the bathroom - be it using the loo or having a shower, she'd poke her head in - maybe take a quick spin around the joint, just to make sure we're all right. I imagine she picked up that habit from her first people, perhaps they had a tendency to fall down, or fall out, in the john. Don't know, but it certainly makes her special.

Loved her ears... they stuck out and had a droopiness at the ends - you could tell she was happy that way. Her ears would flop when she ran. She would hop like a bunny when she was excited - heading in from a trip to the poop deck, hoping to get some nibbles on. She'd nibble on blue's food - ignoring her own. Her puppy dreams were wonderful and beautiful and perfect.

Fuck.

We got Canela cause she was in the same kennel run as Blue. She was an older dog, and Boo said "no one's gonna adopt her" ... so we did. I can't say for certain, but having both pups in our abode certainly gained a balance in our universe. I loved walking canela in LA - Eddie will be saddened, I'm sure. Everyone liked her, and she certainly liked walking... Blue was just too much at times to go strolling amongst 'others' - we'd do our walks alone at night.

We just had supper club on Monday, and Canela was able to see and be with a few new peeps - and that's a good thing. She's awesome, and everyone needs more awesome in their lives.

Fuck, I'm gonna miss her.

Fuck.
devastated is a word to describe my shell, the utter lack of anything left, I'm done. I'm gonna sleep ... I hope in a vast still black void ... not thinking, not feeling, cause I feel like shit.

fuck.

I hope Canela and Nancy come to visit Blue tonight, so they can run and play and be happy.

I love ya, girl - thank you soooooo much.

fuck.

:+s+:

dona nobis pacem


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I was very sorry to her about your loss. :-( Losing that unconditional love is a real heartbreak, I know. All I can say is, be sure to focus on the good of having her around, as opposed to the bad of how it ended. Trite advice, probably, but isn't it all at a time like this? Anyway, I'm thinking about you guys today.

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